It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I don’t necessarily get on much even to browse around. I’ve not had much to say, so I just keep to myself. No sense boring the anonymous void with the same crap. Has anything happened since I was last around? Not really. My mom died, but I think I said that was going to happen. I made a connection with someone online, which I think is the last thing I wrote about several weeks ago. It’s still nothing more than a blooming friendship but that’s OK. We have talked a lot on the phone. They could last a couple hours. We met very briefly a couple weeks ago. She is president of her neighborhood association and was in charge of a neighborhood yard sale one day. I went to check it out. She saw me wandering around across the room and said, “I recognize you. You own that … No, that’s not it. But I know you.” Then we spoke just a bit and it hit her who I was from the voice. We only talked about 2 1/2 hours the night before. There was another night she texted me about 11:45 p.m. to see if I was still up and could she call me. So she called and immediately told me she had to go to bed by 12:15. At 12:50 she said it was past her bed time. “It was past your bed time before you even made the phone call.” “OKtalktoyousoonbye.”
Mostly we talk about her relationship. She broke up with the 50-year-old woman she had been seeing (she’s 31). She met a 27-year-old Mexican woman and they had a date last week. She’s unsure how things will work out. She wants to go slow, the other woman is trying to move a bit faster. Sounds just like a lot of hetero relationships. But we are discovering the same issue I’ve had finding a relationship is also somewhat of a hindrance to pursuing this friendship. My work schedule sucks. She is already in bed (usually) a couple hours before I get off work. There have been a few times she’s wanted to talk but I’m not available. I had commented on someone else’s blog post about my work schedule being a possible roadblock to finding love. Another commenter called me out on it claiming it was bullshit. I discussed it with my new friend and she said it’s not bullshit just based on our friendship struggle.
So that sort of set me in a funk. I’ve not been to the watering hole in a couple weeks either. I figure it’s much cheaper to be lonely and depressed at home. I’m just some old man who isn’t important. My absence hasn’t been noticed.
I’ve been pondering a little what, if anything, I might like to do or where to go if I’m going to take a vacation this summer. Nothing really strikes my fancy if I have to do it alone. While I did San Antonio alone last summer I know it would have been so much better shared with someone. But there’s no one to share it with. At least no one willing to share it with me. Do I really want to do that again? Why? Where? Life really sucks sometimes.